Saturday, 10 August 2013

Report from Carol Mortimer - Team Leader:

How not to renew a human passport
1.  Go to main post office and ask for a passport renewal form.
2.  Get the most awful passport picture from Co-op Photo Booth (permission to use picture below!!!!!!!!!).
3.  Fill in to the best of my ability.  Get documentation of my divorce for my first marriage and my recent marriage to Alan.  Explain in section for 'anything else you would like to add' that I am retaining my surname of Mortimer rather than take Alan's name of Eves.  Find old blue passport with my passport number on it.
4.  Got to my local post office to get picture signed by manager who knows me well.
5.  Go to main post office to have it all checked using the passport checking system which costs just under £8.
Sounds great up to this point but then the naughty bits in my past life must have come back to me for payback time.
6.  Nice lady behind the counter told me that all the records for the old blue passports have been dumped by the passport office and only the red ones can be used for renewals.  I would have to apply as though it was a new application.  Not only would I have to supply my birth certificate, first marriage certificate, along with the ones I had brought in but I would also have to supply my Mother's or Father's birth certificate.  This is a monumental task as my dad is dead and my mother is in a semi vegetative state in a nursing home and has lost all her documents such as these.
7.  The other thing was that the local post office manager had signed my photo incorrectly and would need to do it again.
8.  Went home and sulked for a day.
9.  Sorted through all my documents and my mother's to look for her birth certificate.  Found my last expired passport which was RED!!! Good, all I had to do now was take the photo to the local post office for my friend to sign it correctly.  At this point I would like to say that my 3 year old grandson is still alive even though he put the photo in his toy box and it was not discovered for 3 weeks.
10  Got some more photos and had them signed correctly.  Took it all to the main post office for checking.  Smiled sweetly at the (different) woman behind the counter.  She was a bit suspicious at my old red passport and asked why I had not brought it in in the first place.  I explained that the instructions had not specified it had to be a red one but she showed me the exact place in the instructions where it says so.  I showed her my copy of the instructions which was missing this statement.  I had been given an out of date version!!!
11.  Luckily another lady behind the counter came over to help.  She is an old friend of mine and she verified that I was not an illegal immigrant trying to obtain a British passport.  First lady ticked and signed the box that said everything was OK and sent it off.
Two weeks later I got my new passport.  I am now officially as British as Marmite

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